How to actually enjoy your wedding day

hot takes from a wedding photographer

Over the past few years as a wedding photographer, I’ve had the honor of sharing so many incredigble wedding days with my couples! In that, I’ve witnessed firsthand the highs and lows of the planning process and day-of wedding stresses and celebrations. Whether you're newly engaged, in the thick of wedding planning or patiently waiting for your wedding day to arrive, I fully understand the want to make your big day absolutely perfect in every which way. I wanted to put together a few of my TOP tips that will help you soak up every moment on your big day!

make sure you are absolutely in love with your venue

Your wedding venue becomes your wedding photos - point freakin’ blank. Your venue’s colors, lighting, and design will inform the final look and feel of your wedding images and final gallery. So when selecting your venue at the beginning of planning, make sure you take the proper amount of time to research venues that offer an environment that matches your dream photo style. When selecting your venue, try and look for spaces with good natural light - especially in your getting-ready, and ceremony spaces. You will be spending a full day there after all so be sure you are excited about the space!

spend some private time with your partner

This one is absolutely HUGE. There are obviously lots of moving parts on a wedding day and it’s extremely easy to get caught up in the wedding day chaos. My goal is to allow for a little bit of private time with you and your partner for you to just BE and soak up the day. Whether it’s after your first look, right before the ceremony, at a private dinner, or during a private last dance, be sure to take a second to retreat from the go-go-go of your wedding day and enjoy each other’s company on your special day.

PRO TIP: I always aim to give my couples at least 45 minutes of downtime before their ceremony to just relax before heading into the rest of the night!

don’t “do it for the gram”

Your wedding day is NOT about going viral. While wedding-tok and Instagrammable moments are so much fun (don’t get me wrong - I LOVE a good wedding trend), your wedding day is far more valuable than the likes you get on your “just married” Instagram post. I fully understand having a Pinterest board as inspo, I actually embrace this with my couples but know that you and your lover are what makes your wedding day unique. Focus more on what makes your wedding day true-to-you and trust me when I say that will translate to your final gallery so much better than hopping on the latest trend.

create a timeline with breathing room

The last thing you want to feel on your wedding day is like you are being rushed and going through the motions. Therefore, talk to your photographer about all the key moments you want to highlight in your day and take their advice on how many hours of coverage you will need to make it all happen without feeling like you’re a chicken with its head cut off. In my experience, 8-10 hours is an optimal amount of time for most wedding days!

the day doesn’t move along without you and your partner

For the love of all things holy and true, the timeline is a guideline, NOT the end of the world. Of course, your vendor team is keeping an eye on that thing all day long to make sure can get things accomplished within the parameters we set, but let us worry about the timeline. If things get a little pushed back, I promise, it’s not a big deal and your coordinator, photographer, and caterer are aware and have it handled. It is our job to handle adjusting the timeline, and your job to make memories with your people - even if that means your ceremony gets pushed 15 minutes. I promise when I say, the day truly doesn’t move forward without you two and it will all be A-OK!

forget that I am even there

Lots of people tend to freeze up in front of the camera and that is totalllllly valid and normal. Taking photos doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people - myself included! My biggest piece of advice? Forget that the cameras are even there. Now, this doesn't mean I'll leave you in the dark when it comes to posing or directing. Duh, that is my job. But allow yourself to immerse yourself in every second of your wedding day. You're making irreplaceable memories with your partner and with your people. FEEL those moments. Be IN them.

your happiness is what matters. period.

At the end of the day, your wedding should be about celebrating you and your partner as you enter into this new season of life. It doesn’t matter if your distant aunt doesn’t care for the DJ or your cousin doesn’t like her bridesmaid’s dress, it’s not their wedding. Remember that you don’t have to please people, it’s YOUR wedding day. Focus on you and your lover and what makes y’all’s hearts sing - even if it breaks tradition!

I hope at least one of these tips resonated with you and gave you a little more peace going into your wedding day. Remember that the day is far more important than people-pleasing, sticking to a timeline, or being on trend. Your day is about you, your partnership, and making memories with your friends and family. You show up, do you, and let the day unfold. I’ll be right there ready to capture it ALL.